SRD 30: It's All About the Smack

I'm still withdrawing from Percoset and it sucks. Imagine waking up everyday knowing you will feel like a piece of old cheese for anywhere from an hour to all afternoon. I say "like a piece of old cheese" because I really don't know how to describe the physical and mental intrusions caused by withdrawal. This is one of those things you cannot know unless you've experienced it. All those years working with social model recovery folks I had to just believe what they said--it takes a drunk/junkie/addict to help a drunk/junkie/addict. Now I know why.

When I came home from family camp I could see I'd be tapering, and withdrawing, for at least another couple weeks. The person I needed to talk to was Wendy. The ONLY person I'd met who has actually gotten off prescription pain pills. The only person I trust to get it. She delivered the bad news without exerting any energy to soften the blow. Withdrawal symptoms are more likely to worsen than improve as the dose is tapered. This can be mitigated a bit by taking the process real slow. But, basically, it's going to get worse.

How do people do this? I have an ideal situation: comfortable and stable home; reliable spouse/partner; grown, relatively self-sufficient children; access to acupuncture; and financial security. And yet this is really, really difficult. How do women with small children, no partner, no roof, or unpaid bills do this?

I would just take the damn pills. I wouldn't be able to do any of it while having withdrawal symptoms--drag myself through a day at work, attend to the needs of a dependent child, or plan, shop for and prepare meals. I can barely manage this WITH the hot tub in the backyard. And I've got another two weeks to go.

Here's the plan; I started out at one pill every 4 - 6 hours. I knocked my dose to 1/2 pill every 4 hours to start tapering. Ten days later I reduced to 3/8 of a pill every 4 hours. Now I'm taking 1/4 of a pill. Soon I'll drop to 1/8 of a pill. Wendy says it will be bad again for several days, maybe a week. But after that I plan to start dropping doses. The 3 AM will be the first to go. Then maybe the 3 PM.

I'll let you know how it goes.