SRD 14 Better

Now that I've been detoxing for a few days I've had a chance to notice a pattern. I feel mildly crappy in the morning. I wake up with a sore arm and remember that I'm going to be managing withdrawal symptoms for the next 24 hours--not the best way to start the day. But the afternoons are always the worst.

I think it's partly a function of fatigue. As the day wears on I become more aware of the pain in my arm as I have less reserves to call on. The withdrawal symptoms seem to magnify at exactly the same time. I reach a point where I can't read or write or talk on the phone. I certainly can't pay bills, answer emails, cook or tidy-up the kitchen. I eventually find myself on the couch with the remote control in my hand. Thank God for Oprah and DVDs!

My son and I watched eight episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" yesterday. It's so much easier to just let Ted and Lily and Marshall and Barney and Robin deal with their lives while mine remains on hold. Some form of video crack gets me through the couple of hours it takes for the worst of the symptoms to pass. Then I'm mainly tired. But I'm usually too stubborn to just go to bed. Instead I soldier on until my 10:30 PM dose.

By the time I've taken my half-pill of Percoset, choked down a teaspoon of dry herbs (Did I forget to mention constipation? It isn't bad enough narcotics cause major plugging of the plumbing while still helping with the pain, they continue to slow digestion to a painful crawl even when you are getting nothing but withdrawal symptom relief.), washed my face, and changed into my nightgown, I'm so exhausted I feel like crying.

I finally get in bed and spend several minutes--no exaggeration--finding a comfortable position for my arm. This is complicated by the fact that my right humerus has migrated far forward in the shoulder joint due to a very tight pec muscle. Simply lying on my back creates a gravitational pull on the joint that feels simply awful--think weight-bearing on a very tight, sore muscle. I have to shift around until I find the one position in which I can relax into the mattress without encountering that icky sensation.

But it is all worth it because this is when P. G. Wodehouse takes over.

Coming up: the ultimate soporific